february air

Hello, welcome to the blog post.  I wanted to write this, so now I will write on OQuinterros.wordpress.com, and you can read it, and I will write more, and the such.

A Comprehensive History of the Headphones I’ve Used Since 2001.

2001 marks the point at which I really start using headphones regularly in my life.  I feel like my relationship with headphones has been a lot like my relationship with girls.  They break very frequently, and none of them will have sex with me.

Here we go starting things off in 2001 when I had a Sony Discman or something, listening to Blink 182 and Sum 41.  Couldn’t get enough of bands with numbers at the ends of their names or something.  I definitely had some generic black headphones that came with the CD player.   I feel like everybody had these.  I’ll be the first to say that my song choice was questionable during my adolescent years.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Linkin Park – In the End
Blink 182 – Adam Song
Sum 41 – Crazy Amanda Bunkface
Animaniacs – Wakko’s 50 States and Capitals

The year is 2002.  Going into middle school, suddenly CD players are allowed, and if you don’t have one, you’re a loser!  The Sony Discman/Headphone combination is long gone.  Now I’ve got a flashy purple CD player and get this… it has built-in FM radio.  Now this is 7th grade and I can’t risk looking like a fool in front of my peers, so I’ve got a sexy pair of silver wrap-around headphones that show that I don’t mess around with headphones that could potentially fall off my head.  They also show that I don’t like to be comfortable lying down.  Eventually the padding over the speakers would rip off and become unwearable.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Chingy – Holidae Inn
Racist Chinese Rap Song about McDonald’s

Another pair of wrap-around headphones next.  They suffered the same fate.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Westside Connection – Gangsta Nation
Metallica – Master of Puppets

Things are starting to get hazy here.  I’m a little unsure about the chronological order of the headphones that I wore but I’ll try to do my best.

For some reason I can’t remember any of the headphones I used in high school.  I think I had some Apple ones at one point which broke.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON HEADPHONES DURING HIGH SCHOOL***

Modest Mouse – 3rd Planet
Wu Tang Clan – Shame On A Nigga
R.E.M. – Losing My Religion
Smashing Pumpkins – 1979
A Tribe Called Quest – Excursions
Public Enemy – Public Enemy No. 1
Negativland – Drink It Up
Muse – Map of Your Head
Dr. Octagon – Earth People

Sometime during high school I got this large pair of headphones that made you look like you had something super important to listen to because they were massive.  Like if you were wearing those you had to go to the studio and edit some songs because you can really hear the intricacies of the bass or something.  I dunno.  They looked retarded. They were silver, with a thick “headband” thing and very large ear pieces.  And they were “noise cancelling” which meant that you put a double A battery into them and flicked a switch and it made a static noise which didn’t do anything.  Uncomfortable.  One of the ear pieces fell off and was just connected by the wire, just hanging there.  I would fiddle with it and get it into place, and it would fall out again.  I would tape it up and it would work for a little and then my hair would get stuck in the tape and then break again.  It’s like a girlfriend who is alright at first but then starts fucking up and you’re like whatever, but then keeps fucking up and then you work your ass off to make the relationship work and you think everything is good and then she fucks up again and you walk in on her sucking like 8 dicks in a room and you are like argh, I am going to put you into a drawer and forget about you, and take out your double A battery.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Bruce Springsteen – Dancing in the Dark
The Mario Kart Wii Soundtrack

In the year 2008, I graduated from high school.  Many of the cunts whom I graduated with received sports cars or SUVs; I received a Microsoft Zune, a shitty Ipod knockoff, since I didn’t have any type of MP3 player.  It came with some stylish looking earphones with wires covered by fabric.  These were actually really good; the earpieces had some suction thing going on that would drown out a lot of sound when they were being worn.  The first problem with these came probably sixth months after acquiring them.  The fabric that covered the cords got holes in it, and the wires became exposed, causing them to poke out and form loops and stuff.  Then they started to lose sound in one ear and had to be adjusted to a specific position in order for them to work correctly which was way more of a hassle than it ever needed to be.  When my friend Josh went to Europe he asked me for a pair of headphones and I gave those to him thinking he might have better luck and he told me that they didn’t work at all.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Owen – Amnesia and Me
Neutral Milk Hotel – Song Against Sex
Mountain Goats – Wild Sage

Next we have the famed Skull Candy gold-plated wooden earphones.  Well, they weren’t actually gold-plated.  I always thought this company Skull Candy was pretentious.  I would see people wearing pairs of massive headphones with the logo of the company branded on them.  I would think, “Why are people proud to show off this logo? It is just a headphone company.”  Sometime in 2010 or 2011 I saw a deal for this pair of wooden earphones which were normally $100 for $20.  Whichever pair of headphones I was using at the time was broken and I needed new ones, so I bought these.  At first I enjoyed them.  They were similar to the Zune headphones with the noise drowning capability thing.  People said that wood sounds better but I didn’t really notice.  However, these had nearly identical problems to the aforementioned Zune headphones in like half the time.  What a piece of shit.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Laura Stevenson and the Cans – Master of Art
Bob Dylan – She Belongs To Me
Cap’n Jazz – Little League

I set off to Peru in late 2011 with a pair of the typical white Apple headphones that anybody with any Ipod or Iphone has which looked super pretentious up until 2009.  I don’t know where I got them, since I don’t own any Apple products.  These lasted approximately four months.  At the end of their life one of the headphones started to crackle and the speakers fell off.  They would always fall out of my ears too.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Beastie Boys – Johnny Ryall
Sufjan Stevens – Jacksonville
The Flaming Lips – Lightning Strikes the Postman

After those headphones broke I purchased a pair similar to the Zune headphones off of a rather shady Peruvian salesman on a street corner.  They came in a shoddy package and I expected them to have the longevity of a college freshman’s virginity who is rushing the sorority Alpha Sigma Alpha.  Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised when they lasted over a month without much problem.  The quality wasn’t great and they couldn’t get very loud, even though they had a manual volume adjustment knob thing.  They provided me with a much appreciated soundtrack to accompany me as I traversed the Peruvian highlands on a bus.  When I got back to the US, the volume level of the left headphone lowered, which wasn’t a big deal, but one day it gave in, and rendered this pair of headphones useless.  Goodnight, sweet prince.

***SONGS THAT GOT THE MOST PLAYTIME ON THESE HEADPHONES***

Sonic Youth – Teenage Riot
Wilco – Summer Teeth
Pharcyde – Oh Shit
Yazoo – Only You

It’s a shame I’ve apparently erased some of the traumatic headphone experiences from my memory since I’m sure I’ve had plenty more bad things happen to me than I’ve listed.  Currently I’m using a generic set of black earphones that I took off a Continental Airlines flight.  They are uncomfortable.  I feel they will wilt soon, and when they do, I want to have a nice longevous pair of comfortable headphones which have eluded me for so long.  DO THEY EXIST?

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