Alright, it’s time to take a look at something truly American: NBC’s Sunday Night Football Theme Song.
The video starts off by showing a bunch of crew members moving equipment around, preparing for the huge concert which will consist of Faith Hill performing a two minute song. Various NFL athletes have gathered, hoping that this night is the night that they will receive the call to perform under the spotlight of the honorable Sunday Night Football. One of these players is Aaron Rodgers, who reflects introspectively on life, philosophy, and what it means to be a Green Bay Packer. We brace for the entrance of Faith Hill.
“Alright, Sunday Night, where are you?”
Great question Faith. Where exactly is Sunday Night? This is getting a little philosophical; I like it already.
“Waiting for the game that bleeds red, white, and blue.”
Is that the answer to the question? Sunday Night was waiting for the game that bleeds red, white, and blue? As you will notice, many of the lyrics in this song don’t seem to make much sense.
“You want some football… we want it too!”
Self-promotion for NBC’s shitty programming. They wrote “The Voice” too just in case you didn’t know the show and really wanted to see it after seeing it in this music video.
We get a weird pause followed by a close up of Faith Hill. Apparently, what’s kept her on the air for so long is the fact that the majority of the American football-watching populace seems jizz their pants at the sight of her. That whole “fake blonde country woman” thing doesn’t do it for me. “To each his own” I guess.
Now hold up for a second. What the hell is going on with her band? Look at these guys:
So into it. This is what they live for, man. It’s all about the music. It’s all about being Faith Hill’s fake backup band. Sadly, the drummer doesn’t get any love. All the keyboard player does is stand still and clap.
Anyway, back on track:
More cheap product placement. Nothing screams “relatability” like a bunch of concert-goers holding up their Verizon phones to make up a giant Verizon logo. That is what I am talking about.
Patrick Willis is pissed off. So pissed off that he decided to punch a hole in the screen that makes up the wall of the hallway he is walking down. Perhaps he is so pissed because Ms. Hill keeps telling him things he already knows.
“Hey Jack, it’s a fact, show’s back in town”
Thank you for some more cliche into this song by addressing “Jack” in order to achieve some arbitrary internal rhyme. For week one, I guess it makes sense to say the show’s back in town, but they play this every single week.
Then it’s just more of the same. A Jets player walks down that weird hallway and some Jets fly by. A Lions player runs down the hallway and some… machines pop out. A Patriots player spikes a holographic ball which vaporizes as it hits the floor. The catch phrase plays over and over: “Waiting all day for a Sunday Night.” I’m too lazy to analyze the rest of the video.
“Sunday Night Football on NBC,
Al and Cris are the best on TV.”
REALLY? How about “Al is good and Cris the most snide, pompous announcer who acts like he knows everything because he played WR for the Bengals for like five years on TV.” Serious! That’s an insult to Gus Johnson, Vin Scully, and most other announcers. I’d take the “Boom goes the Dynamite” guy over Cris Collinsworth. Actually I’d take that guy over most people so I dunno.
” ‘Cause the NFL rocks on NBC!”
Faith Hill belts this line out as her backing band has a collective seizure. They have to mention NBC again just to let you know that the NFL is so much better on that channel. Hooray! It’s over.
Now to leave you with an animated .gif from last night’s SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL ON NBC game of Eli Manning auditioning for Arrested Development.