Burrito musings

1 thing I find really interesting is how people perceive burritos

I remember when I was first introduced into burritos they were typically with refried beans and cheese.  Like at Mexican restaurants, frozen burrito, whatever, that was just a traditional burrito.  I had no problem with that, I thought it was delicious.  That is what people ate when eating burritos and they enjoyed them and they kept doing that.  I’ve gone to a lot of different places and ordered bean and cheese burritos and I liked them all mostly.

In the early 2000’s when Chipotle emerged they started offering burritos that they would fill with a load of ingredients.  Everybody who goes there gets a massive flour tortilla with rice, beans, some type of meat, and then all this shit like corn, lettuce, sour cream, guacamole, or whatever else.  That probably should not be called a burrito IMO but that doesn’t really matter since all tex mex food is basically the same anyway.  These burritos are mediocre I think, and high school girls/DC fuckboys have just hyped the shit out of them causing practically everybody to marvel at the massive Chipotle burrito.

Here is the thing though.  I feel that places like Chipotle and Qdoba have betrayed the traditional burrito, selling out for other toppings or whatever.  The reason is because I went into a Chipotle a few months ago with a friend and decided that since I didn’t really like their burritos I was just going to order one with beans and cheese and see what would happen.  I got to the counter and asked for a burrito and the lady put her hand on the spoon for the rice and asked “white or brown rice?” and I had to respond with “no rice.”  It made me feel weird and that I like wasted her time or something, because she had already prepared herself to spoon out rice.  Then she asked if I wanted black or pinto beans.  “Pinto beans!” I said as I was enthusiastic to be complying with her ingredient inquiry this time.  Then she asked what kind of meat I would like.  “No meat,” I replied.  She looked at me as if she didn’t hear me.  “No meat” I had to repeat.  I felt like a weirdo around the parents and high schoolers around me, moreso than I normally would.  The lady making the burrito passed it to the next person, just a tortilla with pinto beans on it.

She asked me what toppings I wanted and I told her, “just cheese.”  She put a fucking mound of cheese on the thing, probably twice the size of the pile of beans.  Oh well.  She had already moved her hand back to where the ingredients were, ready to put more on.  “That’s it,” I had to say.  The new lady replied with “that’s it?  Nothing else?”  No, nothing else.  Just a bean and cheese burrito.

When they took it to the counter to ring it up, the cashier was confused.  He had to ask a couple times what I got to make sure he was hearing correctly I guess.  I don’t think he had ever seen someone order that before.  It took him a few minutes, and the people behind me in line were getting pissed off, that my tiny order was taking forever to ring up.  Eventually he charged me for a side of beans and a side of cheese.  It was $2.20.  Cool.

It was small for a Chipotle burrito, but if I had made that at home, I would have been mad satisfied with what I had made and only for $2.00 too.  I left thinking I got a steal.  I still go to this one in DC every once in a while and get the same thing, there it is only $2.00.  The first couple times I went in and ordered the bean and cheese burrito they looked at me funny and I thought it was appropriate to say, “it’s weird, I know.”  But why should it be weird?  It’s a god damn traditional bean burrito, what the hell is so weird about that.  Everybody loads up their shit with rice and sour cream now and we’ve forgotten what a good ass burrito originally was.  Same thing happened with yogurt.  Fuck Greek Yogurt.

Now if you really want to blow someone’s mind, go to Qdoba and try this.  The first time I went there after having the knowledge of the Chipotle deal, I got two burritos: one was pinto beans and cheese, one was pinto beans and salsa.  They kept trying to add more stuff to the burrito, including their queso “sauce” or whatever it is, when I told them I want cheese.  The lady who tried to ring this up stood there for a couple minutes asking the people who prepared it what was in it.  “Just beans in this one?” she would ask, and they would reply, “beans in both.”  “Cheese sauce?” and they would say “no, shredded cheese.”  It honestly took five minutes.  She would ask them in Spanish thinking I would not understand but I would answer for them.  “This guy just got beans?” “No, one has cheese the other has salsa.” “Oh, no beans on either?”  It went back and forth.  They couldn’t figure it out.  It blew their god damn minds.  Eventually she had to get the manager.  Same questions.  My goodness.  People there were really starting to get pissed at me.  Eventually she charged me $2 for the whole thing.  Nice.  When I go back there I just get two bean and cheese burritos because it’s too confusing for them to figure out the separate orders.  Two bean and cheese burritos at Qdoba comes out to $1.76 in Virginia.  That’s insane I think.  You get bad service there but I guess they charge you less for it.

So that’s the news on the burrito front.  Eventually though homeless people will get wind of the cheap pricing and start going into the stores a lot and ordering bean and cheese burritos and then Chipotle and Qdoba will jack up the prices to keep them out of their stores because they are assholes.