if ppl knew the effects their “actions” had on me then (something)… Not sure if I overanalyze things or do it a normal amount… can be sent into a “downward spiral” by a simple rejection, but i can’t ever “brush it off” or whatever, always just end up being mad at myself for straying from “who I am” or whatever, and not keeping it real, so in conclusion i think when ppl say stuff like “don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine” they are being stupid, you will always “be fine” aka forget about how you were feeling that time you felt shitty (the same thing will happen when you feel really good, but then next days you will just feel average again or whatever)

wat is a good way 2 “console” some1 when he/she is sad… saying “it will be okay” is really stupid and someone once got really mad at me for not saying that in a situation where she was sad, i thought “WTF, i don’t understand, why don’t ppl see things how I see them because I am always right when I think I am”.  Actually I did not think that exactly.


Mostly  a Xanga post or Livejournal this one,,,,,,,,,whatever,,,,,,,,,,love my haters


the doldrums

In my 9th grade history class, we learned about wind patterns, or something.  One of the things we learned about were “the doldrums.”  after explaining the concept, the teacher mentioned how “the doldrums” is a term people use when they are feeling sad, or down, or defeated.  one of my friends in the class then passed me a note, and it ended with “Mike, I am feeling very doldrum.”  she underlined doldrum though not italics, why can’t you underline on here?  WTF WordPress

Anyway, that girl killed herself last year.. I don’t think her “feeling very doldrum” 10 years prior had anything to do with that tho

But ya I know depression is a mental illness or whatever, and sometimes I just get really emotional/sad over seemingly “trivial” stuff.. like.. the ingredients on a box of hamburger helper.. really hard to explain and I’m like maybe I am depressed or something, but then I look at other ppl who “actually” are and whatever issues I have “pale in comparison” to theirs.. anybody who reads this would probably tell me that I shouldn’t cheapen the way I feel by comparing myself to others, and that if i am having a problem then it is legitimate based on how it affects me… BUT, nobody will ever read this, so that doesn’t matter

Suikoden has maybe the worst soundtrack for any RPG ever, really, really bad… horrid… very repetitive, droll, and tryhard… it just came on my itunes thing, that’s why i’m talkin bout it atm

been riding my bike to get around this here city, it’s pretty fun, someone is definitely going to smash to me with their car at some point, but until then…. Let’s Bowl!

Did absolutely nothing this weekend.. played Link’s Crossbow Training and read Harry Potter a bunch.. I know there are like a million things I have to do but i don’t remember them so F em.. this post feels like something from Xanga or Livejournal in 2004 maybe… need to get out to some museums and “take advantage” of living in Our Nation’s Capital