My Review of Pitchfork’s Top 100 Songs of the Year: 80-61

80. “Me U & Hennessy” ft. Lil Wayne

First of all, the ampersand in the title looks really weird, at least on the Pitchfork website, so I don’t know what’s up with that.  Also, teh way she says it in the song is “me, Hennessy, and you,” so there’s that also.  Everything about this seems really bad, like it’s in the realm of Drake, Nicky Minaj, autotune, etc.  A lot of people probably think this song is sexy.  Lil Wayne says he doesn’t drink in the song, is that true?

79. “Twist My Fingaz” by YG

I probably come of as “hating rap” from this list so far, but I like a lot of rap music.  The problem with the rap songs on this list is that they all suck.  This one is pretty good though, it reminds me of The Chronic or some other 90’s gangster rap, which is good.  Decent track, would not be embarrassed to be caught listening to this.

78. “Whip It (Remix)”  by ILoveMakonnen ft. Migos

This is really bad.  It’s not even a remix of the Devo song.

77. “Downtown” by Majical Cloudz

This is a song to “zone out” to and it’s kind of boring and I doubt I’d ever be listing it as the 77th best song to come out in any given year, but it sounds great after hearing ILoveMakonnen and Migos do that piece of shit Whip It song I just heard.

76. “Standard” by Empress Of

I don’t have much to say about this song, so let’s turn to Jes Skolnik of Pitchfork.  “Instead of preaching, Rodriguez’s empathy resonates on a seriously human scale.” according to Jes.  I don’t know.  The song ended and the next one on the album started playing, and I like that one better.

75. “High by the Beach” by Lana Del Ray

I think I have heard this song.  I don’t remember liking it.  But I also don’t remember disliking it. Nah I definitely disliked it.  I wonder why she wants to get high “by” the beach instead of just on the beach.  I feel like rich, bitchy white girls would like this song.

74. “(At Your Best) You Are Love” by Frank Ocean

This is a cover but I don’t think I’ve heard the original(s).  Very high voice.  Not my kind of song but I don’t dislike it.

73. “Foreclosures” by Rick Ross

Throwaway rap song.  Seems good to hear a rapper rap about twitter though.

72. “Ryderz” by Hudson Mohawke

Yeah, I didn’t have much hope for “Ryderz” by Hudson Mohawke and I forgot I was listening to it as I was doing laundry.

71. “The Night Josh Tillman Came to Our Apartment” by Father John Misty

This is tight.  Sounds like Christmas music kind of.  The lyrics sound like something I could make sense of if I listened a few times.  Would recommend this song.

70. “Dubby” by DJ Rashad/DJ Spinn ft. Danny Brown

First let me say that I’m very confused about who the artist of this song is.  Anyway, I guess this “beat” is sposto be like dubstep but not completely, so it is just “dubby” or as I like to call it, “dubbish” or “dubya.”  This song started off cool but got really bad and started shaking my walls.

69. “Fourth of July” by Sufjan Stevens

Alright, finally a song I know.  I listened to this album a lot this year, “Carrie and Lowell.”  It became one of my favorite albums ever.  This song though is very powerful and emotional, but not really enjoyable to listen to.  I’m not mad, I just liked most of the other songs on the album more, that’s all.

68. “Lionsong” by Björk

This song went on really long.  Wasn’t sure if another song on the album started playing.  It sounds insane.

67. “This Could Be Us” by Rae Sremmurd

Oh, this is where that “this could be us but u playin” meme comes from.  Got it.

66. “Dumb” by Jazmine Sullivan ft. Meek Mill

Very boring, I might even go as far as to say it was dumb

65. “Living My Life” by Deerhunter

Living my life.  Something people in 2015 love to do.  This song just kinda drifts along for a while doing the same thing over and over again.  Maybe it “parallels” life or something.  Whatever.

64. “Angels” by Chance the Rapper ft. Saba

This guy’s okay.  He’s got a cool voice or flow or whatever.  Is he the same guy who was in Community, or is that somebody else.  Big fan of the steel drum making an appearance in the song.

63. “Shadow” by Chromatics

Oh, I kind of like this band.

62. “Sandra’s Smile” by Blood Orange

I think this is the only song that Dev Hynes (Blood Orange) put out this year.  It’s kinda crazy, this guy’s music is usually really layered and cryptic but still really catchy.  It’s not really a secret though that this one is about the death of Sandra Bland, a woman who hung herself in a jail cell after she was pulled over for a traffic violation. Dev Hynes said that he gave the song its title because he googled pictures of her and thought she had a crazy smile.  Sick dance moves too

61. “G.L.O.S.S.” – We’re from the Future” by G.L.O.S.S.

Girls living outside society’s shit, lol.  This song is awesome.  I don’t even know if it’s girls singing, but they seem very PRO-FEMINIST.  roar.

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Rating Each of Pitchfork’s Top 100 Songs of 2015

HEY.

THE WEBSITE “PITCHFORK” CAME OUT WITH A LIST OF THE TOP 100 SONGS OF 2015.  I AM GONNA LISTEN TO THEM AND TELL YOU ALL WHAT I THINK.  I don’t really know anything about the music industry, but I do know that Pitchfork is “infamous” for having really pretentious sounding music reviews which I think are funny.  I probably know very few of these songs.

This is part one of the list, I reviewed 20 of the songs.  It will probably be late 2016 by the time I do all of them, but whatever, nobody even cares.

100. “Free” by Dâm-Funk

Fuck, this song is eight minutes long.  Not starting off well here, don’t think I want to invest eight minutes into this one song.  It has this one sound that reminds me of the song “Can’t Stop Won’t Stop” by some early 2000’s rap ground.  “Young Gunners” I think was their name.  This song “seems chill”… it’s just an electronic sounding thing that keeps slowly adding layers.  Whatever.  Two minutes in and no words so far.  Approaching six minutes now and it’s the same thing pretty much.  Cool guitar solo thingy at the end.  The name of the EP it’s on is “STFU”… funny.

99. “Can’t Keep Checking My Phone” by Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Right off the bat I like the name of the song.  Starting off with some clapping.  Pretty funky.  Fun.  Cool.  Liked it more before the person started singing though.  Kinda faded into the background while I organized some videos.

98. “Dope Cloud” by Protomartyr

Yeah, the name of this song sounds like something you’d here in 2015. And I guess the song does too, or something.  Actually sounds like something by the band “Randy” that I used to hear in the Winter X Games snowboarding game on PlayStation 2.  So I don’t know.  Nothing too special about this song.  The drums are pretty short, and the guy singing probably stands straight up when he sings.  Sounds kinda “Brooklyn.”  Short song – under three minutes.  Pitchfork describes it as “built around propulsive drumming, a rickety and memorable guitar riff, and blown-out choruses, is both an ode to and a warning about escapism as a survival strategy.”  I like my description better.

97. “Young” by Frankie Cosmos

Frankie Cosmos sounds like the name of Frank Sinatra/Bing Crosby wannabe in 2015.  I start listening to the song and it sounds like it’s sung by a woman, so that’s surprising, because I expected a male (due to the aforementioned Frank Sinatra/Bing Crosby situation).  I imagine this song being performed in a small venue with blue lights and the people in the crowd are smiling and “swaying.”  Nothing too special for me.  Weird song – very short and has a little intermission in there.

96. “Nelly” by Isaiah Rashad

Started off with some line about parallel parking, I like that.  Next part reminded me a little too much of that song “Hotline Bling,” not too keen about that.  This is a rap song I guess.  Seems like white girls would like this a lot.  The rapper is using the slur thing that a lot of rappers do now days.  Boring song IMO.

95. “The Lavishments of Light Looking” by Woke ft. George Clinton

George Clinton is the first name I know to appear on this list, but not going to expect or assume anything because of it.  Listen and Feel baby.  Woke is also apparently that guy Flying Lotus, who I only heard in Grand Theft Auto and didn’t really understand.  A guy who sounds like Big Boi starts rapping, but it’s kinda of pissing me off, because the music behind it is just pissing me off.  Yeah, lost interest in this.

94. “XTC” by DJ Koze.

Eight minute dance track.  “Ecstasy.”  This might be “EDM,” not sure.  Really obvious pulsating bass drum right from the start.  Bm. Bm. Bm. Bm.  There’s a sample of someone talking about ecstasy.  It sounds kinda stupid but speaks some truth… like about a lie being sweet at the beginning and bitter at the end, and vice versa for truth… then equates those two things to the drug and meditation (respectively).  True shizzle…

93. “I Remember” by Bully

Cool pop punk song with some chick screaming, cool voice, pretty good.  Lyrics seem “real.”  This is tight… short song… cool.

92. “Break Away” by Cool Uncle ft. Jessie Ware

Yeah, this sounds “retro” or whatever.  Like Steely Dan or something.  The write-up for this song talks about how sometimes it is “obviously bullshit” when music made before your generation seems more sincere – sounds like bullshit to me.  Anyone notice how music reviews usually have a line that goes something like “From the [adjective] [noun] to the [adjective], [adjective] [noun], [name of song/album] will [adverb] make you [some combination of verbs].”

91. “How Does It Feel” by Kaimaiyah

Starting off with some autotune and some clapping sounds from Garage Band.  The girl starts rapping.  She has a cool voice I guess.  Part of the video shows her playing Banjo-Kazooie on N64.  It looks like she doesn’t know how to hold the controller, so she’s probably faking, but at least she isn’t insanely mashing buttons like people in movies and TV shows always do when they’re playing video games.

90. “Blasé” by Ty Dolla $ign ft. Future and Rae Sremmurd

Well, not getting a good feeling for this one based on the song and artist name, but we’ll see.  Yeah, he is singing like Soulja Boy does in that song “Pretty Boy Swag.”  Superficially it sounds like any shitty song about cars and “hoes” and stuff, I guess according to Pitchfork it’s much deeper than that, about this guy’s needs or whatever, but I didn’t pick that up during my listen.

89. “My Baby Don’t Understand Me” by Natalie Prass

Was not interested, sorry.  Forgot the song was playing as I read something about Super Mario Bros on the internet.  “Our love is a long goodbye” seems to be the line that’s stuck in my head afterwards.

88. “Demon” by Shamir

Got high hopes for this after finding out the album it’s on is called “Ratchet.”  Also the album cover looks like something A Tribe Called Quest would draw.  Someone’s playing keyboard which sounds kinda cool.  “Chill” song or whatever.  Cool.

87. “Bank Rolls” (Remix) by Tate Kobangs

I think he’s rapping about Baltimore.  This song came at me really fast, like a salvo of bullets.  The “beat” keeps changing up kinda.  It’s overstimulating.  There’s one line where Tate Kobang talks about how all the girls in one part of the city have AIDS.  “I swear to God I could never love a dumb ho,” he tells us.  True nuff.

86. “The Answer” by Savages

Got excited for this because it was an all girl band.  It turned out to be really grungy and I really wanted it to have more of a harmony, but it didn’t really happen.  Eh.

85. “To Die in L.A.” by Lower Dens

Very cool and happy synthpoppy dance track!!!  Awesome!!!

84. “Dimed Out” by Titus Andronicus

Sounds like some ska band – can’t make out any of the words, is that the point?  A lot of metal bands do that, where you can’t understand a single word in the song – is that intentional, like are you sposto look up the lyrics?  I can hear when he’s saying the name of the song.  “I hope you like it when it’s Dimed Out,” I think he is saying.  This song is okay, it’s kind of aggressive, in a positive way kind of.

83. “Seeds” by Moses Sumney

This guy has an insane voice that sounds like it’s been modified and layered on top of itself a bunch of times.  I like a lot of quiet acoustic stuff with poignant lyrics but I’m not feeling this one!

82. “Ch-Ching” by Chairlift

This song gave me a headache.

81. “The Battle is Over” by Jenny Hval

Still got a headache from the last song, so apologies to Jenny if that negatively affects my review of this song.  The girl is straggling a ball in the album cover.  She is Norwegian but singing in English, which I think is weird.  Some lyrics about feminism and socialism and consumerism.  This song sucks.  Consider some questions that the guy on Pitchfork poses in his review of this song:  What has capitalism done to us? How has it eroded our sense of self? Can we still take care of ourselves and one another in such a world, or are we just going through the motions, despite our best intentions? Oh man, I hope we find out in the sequel!