And Now… John the Businessman Walks Into “Paisano’s” in Georgetown for the First Time

I was “reviewing” a slice of pizza (which is part of a bigger series which I will probably not post here which will honestly probably never get posted anywhere) from the Paisano’s pizza place in Georgetown when this guy came in and I became way more interested in him than in the pizza.  Here is what I hastily scrawled in my phone describing his brief time at the Paisano’s:


Business men just strolling in
“Someone mentioned you have good hamburgers here, is that true? It’s not what you advertise as your strength! You’ve got a pretty good menu. So the hamburger is a double. Got a little bacon back there?”
He gets a doublecheessr with bacon and gets a brownie then asks, “Got anything healthy to drink? I’ll take an OJ.” He “lays off” the fries when he finds out theyre a dollar more. Talking to them about what used to be in this building. This guy is just tremendous. Finding out taht theres another Paisanos in Rockville and VA. It is a franchise & is independently owned. Starting to expand. “Well thats cool, well good. We’re happy to have something affordable.” Ragging on Noodles and co. “I had pasta that was below average and a chicken salad that was made of rubber. How do you open your doors now, you gotta at least be average.” Guys office is across the street. Keeps mentioning the office.  “Thank you for all the information, sorry if I kept you. ” Nice enough.

Your numbers [redacted]-00 ? Thats a good number, surprised it was available. My number ends in THREE zeroes.
[redacted] Company. Been around since 1888.
“Do you have wifi in here?”
“umm, no.”
“You DO have wifi!”

“You dont have a big seating area, but its good that… what does that say? Paisanos1. Alright, I’m in.” Please dont ever leave this Paisanos John the Businessman. “Is there ketchup or anything? Thanks a lot I appreciate it. ” Hes gone. Looks like three Paisanos are huddled behind the counter discussing what just happened. Another guy walks i. while I’m leaving “Hey, how are you.”



so that’s it, hopefully john the businessman becomes a recurring character in my mind whom i can just imagine into any anxiety-inducing situation i find myself in so that he can ease me through.


i had a rough night and i hate the fucking eagles, man

today i found my car with its front bumper hanging an inch off the ground because someone hit it and didn’t leave a note.  i drove it to manassass where i spent all day outside in the sun for crab fest at my friend math’s house.  took the car to my parents’ house where we called the insurance, and they dropped me off at the metro.  i left my phone on the train and had to endure an hour long search for the thing which took me out to prince george’s county, and i was gonna give the guy $10 for returning my phone but i got nervous and didn’t and now feel bad/anxious about not doing so, and the same thing basically happened with the cab driver who drove me back.  i’m exhausted, it’s 2am, and the ladies who live upstairs just fired up their karaoke machine.

how about this scene from the big lebowski to sum things up: